Fixing the Neighbor's/Friend's PC

I just read this in TechRadar.com, I excerpted this last gem and pasted below. The full story is here but this was my favorite part.

How to fix your neighbour's PC without sustaining unacceptable casualties

Fixing a neighbour's PC is not like fixing your own. It's more like the plot of Blackhawk Down. You go in, full of enthusiasm and good intention, fully expecting to be back in under 30 minutes. And a day and a half later, you're still there, ordering replacement motherboards by overnight courier, flashing the BIOS and reinstalling Windows 95 from floppy disks, while RPGs and AK47 rounds slam into the side of the building.

It's a brutal, dispiriting business that pleases no one, least of all your neighbour, who thought you were supposed to be the expert. To avoid this horrific scenario, you must not allow yourself to fall into the trap of using your time to try and save your neighbour money. Wherever possible, opt for the fastest, simplest solution, regardless of the cost to him. Here are some examples:

Neighbour: I upgraded the RAM yesterday and now my PC doesn't seem to boot.
You: You should get a new PC.

Neighbour: I get this strange message on the screen when I start Windows.
You: You should get a new PC.

Neighbour: Crysis seems to slow right down whenever the children are surfing the internet upstairs.
You: You should get a new PC.

Neighbour: Can you help me install Vista SP2?
You: You should get a new PC.

Neighbour: How do I change the desktop wallpaper?
You: Get a new PC.

Neighbour: How do I…
You: NEW PC!